(to slow down and appreciate the pleasures of life)
11/7/26
Right now I am sitting in one of the buildings of my college campus for most likely one of the last times. I am on track to graduate in December. Appreciating moments of life is something that I now realize I have really struggled with. “You never know you are living in the good’ol days until they have gone by” – somebody. I did not appreciate being here as much as I should have and it’s hitting me really hard now that my days are numbered. But why does it have to be numbered for me to start appreciating it?
Looking back, it feels like the past four years of my life have been a blur. Like you could cut those past four years out and have the same result. Now I know that’s not true at all. But it’s just how it feels. I wish I was more present during all that time. I wish I appreciative of where I was a lot more. I would attend my lectures, catch lunch with my friends on some days, and then leave back to my house to waste my time. I looked at the past 4 years as an obligation more than an experience. And that is something I will regret.
The psyche is a very strange part of being human. I feel like every time I think about this I end up at a completely different answer every time. But the one thing I am certain about is that I wish I appreciated it more. Being on campus early in the morning, walking to class with groups of people, seeing the familiar faces of people I have never shared a word with. I wish I appreciated it more. My friends are the exact opposite of me. They are excited to graduate and leave. Yet here I am clinging to something that has already gone by wishing to redo it with a different version of myself.
Since I started feeling this way, I have been trying to do things to make up for that wasted time. I have been taking meaningless walks on campus, taking pictures of random things, and spending less time on my phone just to take in the environment any chance I get.
I guess what my problem was I was either focused on stupid things I did in the past, which is a lot of things, and the things I would face in the future. And that led to my college experience feeling hollow.
I only have around 12 more days on campus. 12 days to make up for missed appreciation. I will try to make the most out of those 12 days. And the days after that. Even right now. Never once stopped to smell the roses. Now I’ll smell them every chance I get.
And I hope you do too, although I probably don’t need to tell you that.
Thank you for reading.
See you again soon.
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